Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.
It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.
There’s nothing less appealing to a potential partner than feeling as though that they’re nothing more than a warm hole or body that’s filling a slot marked “girlfriend”.
The more desperate you are to get what you want, whether it be sex or a relationship, the more likely it will slip through your fingers.
You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr.
and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.
The metaphorical scent of desperation is the antithesis of attraction; much like negativity, it suffuses about you, from the way you speak to the way you act. It screams of low self-esteem and equally low regard for the person on the receiving end of their attentions.
Trying to be someone who is diametrically opposed to who you are inside is a recipe for frustration and failure.
If, for example, you believe that only “alpha” – for a suitably mistaken definition of “alpha” men get women, then that will be part of your reality.
Not because it’s notice or pay heed to that which confirms your pre-existing belief.
Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.
Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…