) Do you think you’re currently operating at 100% capacity?
Have you ever been genuinely afraid for your physical safety?
So yes, just for today, I blame feminism for the particularly sucky state of my love life. So my alert went off when he kept asking me questions about my research. As we walked to our cars, he told me that I had “given him some things to think about.” Famous last words.
And when two people who are that smart, that opinionated, and that strong-willed get together, it should obvious that sparks will fly – and tensions will mount. And yet you still hold your boyfriend to a ridiculous standard, as if a man who went to a state school and doesn’t watch Sunday morning political talk shows is a dullard. I married a woman who was smart – who gets every joke, who knows about Shakespeare and classical music, who has definite opinions about Israel/Palestine – but she’s not necessarily in the 98th percentile of intellectual curiosity. our time is usually spent talking about fixing up the house, raising our daughter, planning our next vacation, figuring out what we’re going to have for dinner, etc.
Recently, I had a five-hour ice-cream date with an intelligent, ambitious, chocolate cutie, with friendly eyes and a great smile. He’s a great conversationalist, wonderful at asking questions, and pretty interesting himself. But these days me and my well-educated hetero feminist friends have two categories of male-female relationships, if we have them at all. Intellectual affairs revolve around the episodic mind f*ck and they have all the potential to leave you feeling just as emotionally drained as an ill-thought sexual liaison.
He showed genuine interest in my career, my research, and my recent career-related travels. There are those of us with intellectual affairs and those of us with just, um, . I am in the first category, and let me tell you that the grass is looking much, much greener on the other side. I’ve had so many of them, that I might as well have a Ph. In an intellectual affair, your mind, rather than your body, is your biggest asset.
Yet if the very thing you’re attracted to never leads to the relationship of your dreams, don’t you think it may be wise to make some adjustments? You’d make adjustments if you didn’t feel good about your body on January 1st.
You’d make adjustments if you were only looking for jobs on and it never got you a job. Should it be any news that it’s the one arena in which you struggle the most? I know a little bit about a lot and can pretty much hold my own in any cocktail party conversation.