I'm late on a deadline, waiting for several work-based communications, and my phone keeps vibrating.
There's a Kik message from Graham, complaining about the temperature in his office.
And while I know I have a choice to respond to these inane messages, I don't want to seem rude by preemptively shutting down the conversation. I also appreciate the validation, the feeling that some guy connects with me so deeply he simply can't help but send me 20 texts a day.
But, from a practical point of view, the torrent of texts is distracting me from work—not to mention talking to my real friends.
I haven't met any of these men, although, at one point—before the constant stream of messages about the minutiae of their day flooded my phone—I'd been actively looking forward to setting up dates with each of them.
It makes the rejection, or at least the disappointment that once again, this wasn't quite the right match, hurt that much more. Callie, 28, once texted with a man for two weeks leading up to their first in-person encounter.
I find the guy who is razor sharp over texts is bitter and angry over drinks; the one who seemed flirty in messages is pushy in person.
And in turn, I become more sensitive from the outset: I notice if a guy seems acutely disappointed when we meet—as if he's more attracted to my avatar than me.
"Texting gives men a non-committal form of validation whenever they want to feel connected," Hussey says.
While an actual date can make a guy freak out about commitment and question whether he wants a relationship, texting offers intimacy without the, 'Is this going to be a thing? "Guys may want fleeting moments of connection rather than the prospect of a real thing."But if you're not into a textlationship, Hussey says the best thing to do is let a guy know ASAP: "Tell him you're going on a texting hiatus until he proves that he is indeed a real human being and not a figment of your imagination," he suggests.