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Then, consider what most women want in a partner: someone financially secure, respected in society, and with whom they can build a family. Driving a sweet Mercedes through the middle of Shibuya. Then after we became friends he finally told me, “” Turns out I’d been calling him by the wrong names for about a year. “” So the deal is, if your wife has a job, she’s likely to be stuck in a low-paying position where she works every day until 11 p.m. Plus, now suddenly she’s pregnant again, and you need a car, and junior’s not going to survive on them turnips alone. And when it comes to solving relationship problems, they’re fully equipped with a skill-set that includes such gems as sulking, pouting, and passive aggression.

Well obviously that sucks, so it makes more sense for her to stay at home and take care of the house and kids. Once her family and friends hear about you lazing around the house on the weekends, or out riding your skateboard or whatever, they’ll pressure you to get a second job, or at least work in the garden. Takeda-san raises all the vegetables for his family. Hope you like hoeing turnips, cause that’s all the hoeing you’re gonna be doing for a long, long time. So after you finish tilling the earth, you better head off to teach a weekends-worth of corporate classes. They’re merely flip-sides of the same coin, only one wears a suit while the other puts on fake eyelashes and a push-up bra.

Somewhere out there, there’s a 30-pound house cat and a Labrador Retriever small enough to fit in your pocket too.

But if you ask me to describe a cat or a dog, I’m gonna try to give you a realistic picture without writing an encyclopedia in the process.

Don’t worry, she’ll make this quite clear as time goes on. Put enough make-up and hairspray on a soccer ball and it’d look pretty good too. I’ve heard foreign women complain that they can’t meet Japanese men, but eh, I’m not so sure.

And you’ll have kids for sure, because that cements the argument. Japanese people value working ridiculously hard, and they’ll expect you to do the same. Seems like you’d have no problem if you were willing to A) Settle for anything that walks, and B) Plan interesting activities for your loved one to enjoy, do virtually all of the talking, and pretend to find him infinitely fascinating. That’s some of what dating a Japanese woman entails.

Secondly, I’m by no means saying that “ Japanese women are like this.” Because, okay, some are also like “that.” So I know I’m painting with a broad brush, and naturally there are exceptions to everything.

Anyway, at what seemed to be the perfect moment, I swept her into a parking garage and we started making out against a concrete wall. After a minute, she looked at me and said, ” I said. if you’re a guy and just looking to hook-up, then it’s all good, right? Japan consistently ranks at the bottom of countries for frequency of sex, and almost half of all Japanese women flat-out state they aren’t interested in it.

That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently. Even the ones who’ll endure it seem determined to lie there like slabs of tuna and wait for you to finish.

Gotta quit eating this extra-large pizza while I type.

Anyway, it’s not easy for foreign men; we just have ridiculously low standards. Like I was on a date with this Japanese girl – this was a couple of years ago – and we went to a Mexican restaurant. And we were hitting it off, drinking Coronas and laughing and making flirty eyes and then out of nowhere, and bear in mind this was our first date, she asks, Things kind of degraded from there, and we never went out again.

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