You try even harder to get more of that feeling, and feel like a failure when it doesn’t come.No matter how hard you try, you never feel like you’re enough or like you’re doing things right.It was only when the relationship inevitably imploded that I was able to see just how toxic the situation had been and how badly it had damaged my sense of self.Part of the reason I didn’t see it sooner is that I didn’t know what to look for.
Specifically, the math of first year physics and second year calculus.c is an “integration constant“, it can be any number.Jumping over to polar coordinates you can rewrite the usual velocity in terms of how fast you’re moving toward or away from the Sun and how fast you’re going around .I was no longer fun, outgoing, optimistic, confident, and full of light. I may have been miserable with him, but I believed that without him I would be beyond repair, so I stayed. I stayed even though he gave me every reason not to.Instead I felt constantly on edge, painfully insecure, drained, and sad. In the end, he was the one who left, and as expected I felt gutted.I felt a pull toward him unlike anything I had ever felt before.I saw some signs of trouble early on, but convinced myself that it would all work out because it simply had to. As time went on things only got worse, and throughout the course of our year-long relationship I turned into a dark shadow of my former self.Being able to see a situation for what it is and accept that it isn’t going to change can be empowering.It gives you the ability to look at things through an objective lens and make a decision that is in your best interest.To help you get there, I have identified the biggest signs that you’re in an emotionally toxic relationship.You feel like nothing you ever do is quite right and are constantly trying to prove your worth. Whenever you do something and it generates any sort of approval from him you feel relieved, and it gives you just enough rope to hang onto.